I Finally Finished That Blog Post from February 2023…
Back in February 2023, I started writing this blog post after receiving a comment on LinkedIn. I had shared something about my tribe at ExhibitorLive 2023, and someone responded, “Can you say tribe?”
That one little comment sent me spiraling—in a thoughtful, tangled, slightly obsessive way. I never hit “publish.” Instead, I abandoned the post…and then the entire blog. I don’t even know why, really. I just did.
Well, I do know a little. The topic felt so complex that I didn’t want to approach it halfway. And because I may or may not have a mild case of OCD (just ask my child Spencer), I couldn’t move on to writing anything else until I finished this. Every day since, I’ve thought about writing again. I even considered deleting the whole thing and starting fresh—but this subject felt too big, too important to sweep under the rug. So here I am. It’s now June 2025, and I’ve finally finished it.
So… Can You Say Tribe?
The comment on my LinkedIn post stuck with me: “Can you say tribe?”
My gut reaction? Why not? Jen Sincero uses the word in You Are a Badass. I’ve heard “Your vibe attracts your tribe” more times than I can count. I’ve always loved introducing my various “tribes” to one another and watching beautiful new connections form.
But that one question made me stop and rethink. So, I did what any overthinking writer would do: I Googled. A lot.
Turns out, there’s a whole world of language we’re being asked to rethink—words that once felt innocent but carry deeper cultural weight. I found list after list of phrases we “shouldn’t say anymore.” Like “elderly” (now it’s “senior”). And “master bedroom” (a term I hadn’t even questioned before). The list went on and on. I was floored.
Learning (and Unlearning)
I started having deeper conversations—especially with Spencer, now 21 who’s mixed race and way more aware of these nuances. According to him, using tribe can be offensive or seen as cultural appropriation. Like braiding my hair on vacation? Apparently that’s problematic, too—something I genuinely didn’t realize, and honestly, I felt terrible.
Spencer said something that stuck:
“Just because you think you’re not racist doesn’t make it better. It can make it worse. Also, Mom—you’re white.”
Whew. That hit. No shit Sherlock!
The truth is, I am white. I like to think I’m culturally aware and open-minded, but the reality is: I’ll never truly know what it’s like to walk through the world in someone else’s skin. What is in my control, though, is who I choose to be—and how I choose to respond when I learn something new, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Words Matter
This country has a complex, painful history. Some of it beautiful. A lot of it ugly. I don’t believe in erasing the past—but I do believe in listening when people say something is hurtful. If changing the words I use helps others feel seen, safe, or respected, that’s a small and powerful thing I can do.
I also think we could take a page from Germany’s book when it comes to acknowledging history and making amends. We’ve got work to do.
Back to That One Word
Funny enough, after all my reading, I came across an article by a Black author who used the word tribe to describe her community.
And that’s when it clicked: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Language is living and evolving. Context matters. Intention matters. So does listening when someone says, “Hey, that doesn’t sit right with me.”
Or, can someone that is Black say Tribe similar to the “N” word.
I may still say tribe sometimes. Or I might say community, circle, people, or crew. But now, I say it with more awareness. And maybe that’s the whole point.
Thanks for reading. I can finally move on now.
—VC
They Call Me VC 
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